God bless those editors over at Shanghaiist. Without them, we wouldn't know about many a juicy scoop, such as the recent article about Charlie Sheen by one "Hao Leifeng" in Global Times, a Chinese propaganda organ that apparently also likes to publish prank articles.
As every Chinese person knows, Lei Feng was a model worker and propoganda icon promoted by Chairman Mao Zedong and the Chinese Communist Party in the 1960's- mostly after Lei Feng's death. "Hao" can mean good, that it is also a common Chinese surname (with a different written chracter).
From the column (which, after the first few paragraphs, starts to look like something that would fit right in with The Onion):
Ignoring public pleas from his father, Sheen has continued a weeklong media blitz, exhibiting obvious signs of mania. With no firm hand to guide them, Western media has deliberately goaded him into making increasingly delusional statements, more concerned about "winning" higher ratings than Sheen's own sense of pride, or the negative example his brash public admissions about his private sex life and unverifiable international conspiracies could be setting for society...
Sheen attracted 1 million Twitter followers in just 24 hours, yet more evidence that microblogs spread the most unhealthy contagions in society like a disease. Chinese family, coworkers, or the authorities would have taken firm steps to make sure someone like Sheen did not make a public spectacle of himself.
Take Edison Chen, who humbly apologized and slipped away to Canada. Or Li Gang's father, who wept as he sought forgiveness on his son's behalf.
The fact that Sheen continues to embarrass himself unabated, becoming even a hero to many, points to the vast differences in cultures.
His employers are unhappy that he was distracted with prostitutes and drugs, and didn't show up to work on time. Why not take a tip from the Chinese business community, and make visits to a KTV parlor part of Sheen's workday?
And instead of epic parties at his home with porn stars, why not keep Sheen occupied with business banquets?
Sheen goes on television and boasts that he has two girlfriends, who both sleep in the same bedroom. Is he too poor to set up his wives and mistresses in different houses?
In Chinese society, these problems are dealt with delicately and privately.
It goes on from there.
While the article starts off lamenting "Western" moral debasement, it's clear that the writer's intent lies elsewhere. Witness the references to...
1) Edison Chen- embroiled in a scandal after pornographic pictures of he and various starlets engaged in sex acts were widely disseminated on the internet.
2) Li Gang, a police chief who's son was accused of killing a college student and badly injured another while driving drunk (the article, whether mistakenly or deliberately, switches the names around).
3) Visits to KTV parlors (which often happen to be brothels).
4) Business banquets, often symbols of excess and corruption.
5) Mistresses: "a must-have for party officials, bureaucrats and businessmen," in the words of the Los Angeles Times.
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Shanghaiist also noted an earlier column by Hao Leifeng in Global Times: Protect Chinese virtue from microbloggers.
The microblogging column followed a similar approach to the one on Charlie Sheen... the first few paragraphs could have been cut and pasted from any propaganda sermon posted in China Daily, Shanghai Daily, Global Times, etc. But a few paragraphs down, quirky tongue-in-cheek humor start to sneak in. E.g.:
Young people need to spend their time focusing on their studies, not such unhealthy interests. It is important that young women are not distracted by dating, until, of course, they graduate. Then they should listen to their parents' advice and marry immediately.
This so-called iPhone "contest" makes a link between sexual attractiveness, and the acquisition of luxury goods, which is of course completely misleading and could give young people the wrong idea of how life works in modern China.
The kind of emphasis on large breasts implicit in the fake iPhone contest spreads a certain model of hegemony that benefits the West, and does little to flatter the special, delicate Chinese characteristics of our women.
We will see if Hao Leifeng makes any additional contributions.
Global Times has become quite a marquee location for offbeat humor.
Last year, they were publishing advice columns by one Alessandro until he was busted by a humorless critic from the Wall Street Journal.
Kudos to Kenneth Tan and the folks at Shanghaiist. Someone has to read The Global Times.
For the good of us all.
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P.S. A series of followup briefings have been arriving in the Shanghaiist inbox.
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